i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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