It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
