Non-Jews are for practice
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
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