So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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