oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize