hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
