he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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