you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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