So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
