..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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