I'm jealous of your bromance
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
