Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize