my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
