Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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