my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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