how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
