Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
