so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
She just used a chaser for red wine.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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