His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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