i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
