I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
