Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
