I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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