I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
