All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
