Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize