Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
