What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
