U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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