I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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