First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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