Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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