But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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