So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize