I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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