All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize