I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
