I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
do herpes really smell.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
