And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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