His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
