So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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