Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
