i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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