Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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