Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
