My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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