If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
