so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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