I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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