dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
