You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
MIDGETS
????
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
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