I met the friendliest cop last night
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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