i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
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