I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
