another moral hangover. fuck.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
