Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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