it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
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