Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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