Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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