Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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