And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Do vagina's smell?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
