The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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