Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
