My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
