Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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