A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
As shirtless as possible
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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