hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize