Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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