So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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