If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
