i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
and you fell through a lawn chair
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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