I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
her vagine was all disorganized.
only you would photoshop your dick
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize