Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
