i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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