U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Houston, we have a squirter
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
