I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
