the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
