We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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