Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
