Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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